intention is the core of what people do. if no effort is made to understand a person, his intentions will be of no concern to you, and you will perceive of him whatever you deem fit. but if what is done is wrong but of an innocent nature and no effort is made by other people to understand it. then i believe, the perceiver is in a worse position than the do-er. this post is not meant to pinpoint anyone. its just general.

the controversy is: who should be the one to give in?

should the do-er be the one who changes himself and then lose the core of his personality? but what if the 'mistake' made was unintentional and uncontrollable?

should effort be made by the perceiver to understand the do-er?


in an alternative situation, if the perceiver had made the effort to try to understand the nature of the action, wouldn't a misunderstanding been avoided? had the action taken by the perceiver been too rash which might have unintentionally hurt the do-er as well? if the effort had been made before the reaction, wouldn't the perceiver have been spared of the unnecessary additional hurt?

focusing less on the perceiver. zoom in into the do-er. did he really mean what he said? or was it meant as a joke? everyone has different upbringing and socialisation plays a major part in who we are today, thus, everyone has their own unique way of expressing themselves. all we perceivers have to do is go a little further and try to understand and the world would be such a better place. but why don't we try to understand? because we are influenced by what people call the 'master status'. something simply defined as an impression which is automatically related to something/someone, good or bad. it deters us from making an accurate perception because we believe our master status is right, it stays too strong locked in our minds that we refuse to accept anything which defies it. it deters us from making an accurate impression and the do-er is misunderstood. if the master status fits the do-er perfectly and the do-er did what he did to specifically acquire a certain reaction, then i have nothing to say. but what if it only seemed like it did but in actual fact doesn't? is this doing justice to the do-er?

There is always a reason why people do things. whether it's for fun or to kill time, they are also reasons. if you don't understand the reason then how can you start judging from your own little window of vision? there will never be freedom of speech, there are too many premature perceptions made by people. but ironically, there still is; at the price of misconceptions.

in these situations, you decide. no one is perfect. not me not you. but the least we can do is try to see a perfect person in everyone. until of course if they prove to be unworthy.