no more bese, left pt 2 and psycho quiz

alright, i've screw bese, now time for pt 2 and psycho quiz! i really have to continue memorising pt 2, i hate memorising...

i want to reverse time... it didn't used to be this way... i miss the way it was...

it doesn't hurt anymore, only the feeling of longingness remains

no more heartaches
no more tears
just hoping for your smile
a little enthusiasm
like how you were
i hope i'm a friend

what an inappropriate time to be blogging, hahaha! i feel i'm repeating myself over and over and over again, but a blog is for ya express what ya feel at the moment in time right? these words don't have to make sense. like how some songs don't make sense at all. hahaha!

do you know?
you didn't seem so special before
standing along the aisle with a frown
who would've known
you could be so close

do you know?
you're really very pretty
especially when you smile!
who would've known
you could be so beautiful

do you know?
you're stuck in my head
i can't get you out
who would've known
you could be so persistent in my head

do you know?
i always want to know
how you feel all the time
who would've known
you could be so brittle inside

now i know,
you're in love too
such a lucky soul he is
who would've known
you could love too

now i know,
you're beyond the reaches
of all i will ever be
who would've known
you could be so far away

now i know
it's not all about me
when hearts are involved
who would've known
i could be the loser in this game called love

i think you're right

after some thought, i think you're really right. i think there really needs to be a distance drawn. whether it is for the good of you or me. this just ain't supposed to happen at all. i should've stayed away before i submerged myself into this mess. now i got ya into the mess too. sorry. though it's really hard, i will try to establish the distance that both you and i need.

bese tomorrow, pt 2 on friday and psycho on saturday

so much things to do, so little time. blame myself for starting late. i want to sleep and not do anything, self discipline!! no sleeping until tonight!! no afternoon nap!! hahaha!

i know what went wrong now... thank you sarah. to someone i pissed off: sincerely, i'm sorry.

a barrier created by no one by yourself
dennis, you fool
can't you feel the love which surrounds you
surfing around you in sparking trickles
open your eyes, take a closer look
can you see them now?
beautiful aren't they?
you should be ashamed of yourself
for not realising earlier....

'and i am...'

random pictures i failed to post in time

mr goh being in the picture was not planned


i think this picture this nice except for the head.....


phoebe's bday cake last wednesday!





at stone grill at katong!



from the bus



from the bus too, hahaha!

hahaha!

the pickup chart reminds me of you, hahaha!

wonder why it always turns out this way, time to move on again. time will once again repair. time to forget again.

this is life

there're 2 songs playing, one after another, both by the Eagles. 'i don't want to hear anymore', then 'waiting in the weeds', i've posted the lyrics here!


"Waiting In The Weeds"

It's comin' on the end of August
Another summer's promise almost gone
And though I heard some wise man say
That every dog will have his day
He never mentioned that these dog days get so long

I don't know when I realized the dream was over
Well, there was no particular hour, no given day
You know, it didn't go down in flame
There was no final scene, no frozen frame
I just watched it slowly fade away

And I've been waiting in the weeds
Waiting for my time to come around again and
Hope is floating on the breeze
Carrying my soul high up above the ground and
I've been keepin' to myself
Knowin' that the seasons are slowly changing
Even though you're with somebody else
He'll never love you like I do

I've been biding time with the crows and sparrows
While peacocks prance and strut upon the stage
If finding love is just a dance
Proximity and chance
You will excuse me if I skip the masquerade

And I've been waiting in the weeds
Waiting for the dust to settle down along the
Back roads running through the fields
Lying on the outskirts of this lonesome town
And I imagine sunlight in your hair
You're at the county fair

You're holding hands and laughing
And now the ferris wheel has stopped
You're swinging on the top
Suspended there with him

And he's the darling of the chic
The flavor of the week is melting
Down your pretty summer dress
Baby, what a mess you're making

I've been stumbling through some dark places
Now I'm following the plow
I know I've fallen out of your good graces
It's alright now

And I've been waiting in the weeds
Waiting for the summer rain to fall upon the
Wild birds scattering the seeds
Answering the calling of the tide's eternal tune
The phases of the moon
The chambers of the heart
The egg and dart of small gray
Spiders spinning in the dark
In spite of all the times the web is torn apart

And I've been waiting in the weeds
Waiting for the time to come around again and
Hope is floating on the breeze
Carrying my soul high up above the ground and
I've been keeping to myself
Knowing that the seasons are slowly changing
Even though you're with somebody else
He'll never love you like I do

i really hate blogging about my everyday life now, it's just so too damn boring. but i have nothing else to say. alright so today was quite a bad day. i was waiter at top table.i got scolded by mr goh even before operations started. while walking to tca, i hung the apron over my neck without tying it, so walking past the entrance, mr goh saw me then i got scolded.................... then another bad thing which happened today, i served main course to a table which haven't even had their appetiser. malu like shit. i think mr sim wanted to kill me just now. hai.... then just now on the bus, i leaned on the side of the bus. my head knocked against the hammer which is used to break the glass incase of an emergency. then got the 'tee teee tee' sound, i faster put it back, luckily most of the passengers weren't paying attention. nevertheless, it was quite embarrassing.

of course it is honourable fighting for what you want. if you die, you will die a glorified death. but what if you already know the ending to the battle, and you will die. what is the point of dying with a glorified death when you won't live to enjoy it? but of course, if you don't fight you will be regarded as a coward who won't fight for what he/she believes in.

backing out

i choose to back down
because it has never worked
call me a coward
call me unambitious
but i know my limits

your judgement had long been passed
i choose not fight
because it is true
i believe you are right
i believe i am wrong
but i don't want this

i admire your courage
i choose not to question it
because it is what you want
if it makes you happy
if it is fine with you
then i think i'm fine too

i choose to cower
because he is there
i believe he keeps promises
i believe he'll hold your hand
so i'm letting go, backing out
without a fight
no more pressure

i don't want to hear anymore - The Eagles

It's not the first time
That I've had the sense that something's wrong
But I'm old enough to know
That things don't always work out like they should
I know you're tryin' hard
To break it gently to me, now
But there's no easy way
To tell it like it is, so baby...

I don't want to hear any more
You don't need to tell me it's over
I've been here before

I've seen that look before
I know it well; it comes as no surprise
You've been avoiding me
But now you want to talk it over
Before you take my hand
And tell me softly in a whisper
There's no need to explain
I've read the book; I know how this all ends

I don't want to hear any more
You don't need to tell me it's over
I've been here before

I won't ask you to stay
I won't stand in your way
Look me right in the eyes
Let me walk away with my head high

If there's some other guy
I don't need to know why

But I don't want to hear any more
You don't need to tell me it's over
I've been here before

I won't ask you to stay
I won't stand in your way
And I don't want to hear any more
No, no, baby
I don't want to hear any more

i haven't touched my pickup chart, i'm waiter tomorrow, sian...... die. i still have no clue about the captain's order. better go look at it. wow, it's 12am already. so late, everytime ssm so late sleep. i wish there will be one night before ssm that i can sleep actually sleep before 10pm. hai.... no choice, been playing my guitar since i came home. i need time for my own too ya know. hahahaha! i guess this is the price for putting my own stuff on priority. the more important stuff get compromised then my sleep time gets compromised too.

if you can't beat them, join them

the girl who waits

the vow of love did it
that fateful night
now she waits
'will you come back for me?'
'i promise'
were the words spoken
of a boy and girl in love

the vow of love did it
and though hours lasted days
and days lasted months
she continues to wait...
clutching the words spoken
that night close to her heart
it was like the very words
kept her heart pumping
and going on..

the vow of love did it
broken hearts of boys in love
and teary eyes of a pretty little girl
'believe the wait will be worth it'
were the voices in her head
and so she did
and still she does

and waiting for the ......... time

hahaha, inspiration for poems don't really come often, when they come, it's best to just stop whatever you're doing and just pen it down, thats what i realised ever since i started to get these things outta my brain. kinda lame. but it's fun to see what you can do with an hour and some brain juice. everyone should do it.

it feels really uncomfortable. typing like that i mean. with the table so far away from my bed. my laptop's gonna live up to its name and lie on my lap when i type today while i lean back on my bolster against the wall. psychology today was a torture to attend. i liked the other lecturer better, he was much more interesting. this guy... really boring. comparable to mr leong our accounting lecturer. 2 boring lectures in a row. i couldn't take it during psychology lecture and slept for awhile. the first time i slept in a lecture this semester. couldn't help it. was really tired.

seal it in a black box and keep it deep inside you, when you crash and explode, thats when it'll really matter

does anybody pay attention to the song i upload on my blog? because, i really want y'all to listen to them, hahaha...


To Love Somebody

Theres a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to be lived with you
Lived with you
Theres a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I aint got you, aint got ?
You dont know what its like, baby
You dont know what its like

To love somebody
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you

In my brain
I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You aint got to be so blind
And Im blind, so very blind
Im a man, cant you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
If I aint got you, aint got ?

travel geog sucks

your friend, my honour

such a complicated thing
i mean Love
humans yearn for it so much
yet
receiving from the wrong person
would actually be undesirable

such a complicated thing
i mean Love
humans yearn for it so much
yet
receiving from the right person
could actually hurt

such a complicated thing
i mean Love
an unending bond they would say
yet
could actually destroy
the very bonds it served to connect

such a complicated thing
i mean Love
with it, does friendship not exist?

Why, Love
you look nothing more than a word
In your plans, do you hold nothing more
than just destruction for me?
if that is the case,
i would never have sought you out.

once again, what are you so afraid of.

trust me when i say i only want to be your friend

tell me its not another mistake

Goodbye - Air Supply

Here are the lyrics to song, take some time, wait for the song to load and listen to it before you leave. it's worth it.



I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I simpathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life


I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong


You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye


You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me


I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong


You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye


You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye

from bert's blog which inturn came from quanhao's blog, i think

...

because wanting more only causes pain
build your life upon contentment
that is the only thing you can do

desire more, take a gamble and lose everything you have
your life is fine as it is
there is nothing you need

but you were happy
until love took over you
'would it have been better if it never happened?'

pack your things and leave your emotions behind
that is the only thing you can do right now
maybe you'll be happier

heartaches are signs of weaknesses
'quick! cover them up!'
it will heal, they will go away

just wait.

guitar story part 2... before i forget

before i forget to continue my guitar story, i'd better do it now. hahaha! procrastination kills. so i stopped at me abandoning my electric guitar. i didn't really touch my guitar, through those periods of time until i went into poly, i had no idea what i had done. study? nah. game? probably. sleep? alot alot. hahaha! my guitar laid there for so long, i had no idea what to do with it. this went on into poly. this was probably the only thing i didn't regret coming to poly for. the only strong enough reason; sparking off my passion in playing the guitar. not saying i regretted coming poly, i think its great, the course is really fun and interesting. but i really want to go university, i think i just screwed up my chances. would i have had the chance to go university if had gone to JC??? probably, but at least it's not determined until the As are over. hahaha! but poly is alright i guess, there're always chances for further education so i think it was a safe choice. oh shit, i just digressed.

anyways. how did the hell did poly bring out my interest in playing the guitar deep down hidden inside me???? hahaha! it was all thanks to the people. thanks to comm skills for telling us to talk about things that are memorable to us. thanks to andy who brought his guitar. that song he played, i will always remember how to play it; more than words. that time i didn't know how to play of course. but after listening to him play, i decided i must really go try. and so i did. i went to cheong the song. well.. the first complete song i learnt how to play. i was really really happy. the feeling was incredible.

continuing my guitar journey, i started to strum no matter how awkward it seemed. i listened to songs and listened closely to the strokes. i learnt 'you're beautiful' by james blunt. but i still can't play it without the chords because i don't memorise, i hate memorising. and finally, the strokes became more swift and more 'natural', i could finally strum. but there was that hurdle about strumming and singing at the same time, i still have that problem. but i can roughly sing and play at the same time. it would of course wouldn't be better than just focusing on one task and doing it. chord changing was still a problem for me then. but as they say, practice makes perfect, i got addicted to the guitar. hahaha! it's simply too fun! hahaha!

i got myself a guitar last year during christmas with money from vacation work 299 dollars, a Maestro SD 3, it had a problem with the fret leveling but i got it fixed. i dammit love my guitar. i wouldn't call myself a beginner guitarist, but neither would i call myself advanced. i want to get better.bettter better better. it's a great friend in times of sadness.

i want to get better. one day, i want to teach guitar and spread the passion of the instrument i have grown to love.

with the right mood, this song'll make you cry

"Pretty Maids All In A Row"

Hi there,
How are 'ya?
it's been a long time
Seems like we've come a long way
My, but we learn so slow
and heroes, they come
and they go
and leave us behind as if
we're s'pposed to know why
Why do we give up our hearts to the past?
and why must we grow up so fast?

And all you wishing well fools
with your fortunes
someone should send you a rose with
love from a friend,
it's nice to here from you
again
And the storybook comes to a close
Gone are the ribbons and bows
Things to remember places to go
Pretty Maids all in a Row
Oh, oh oh, oh......

sian

i don't think i'll be continuing the story, it's just too boring. i'm bored, not as in bored like i have nothing to do. but just feeling restless. yes! thats the word. restless.

hey Hope, you came
'are u staying' i asked
yes was your answer
'why'd you go the last time?'
you didn't tell me
'it doesn't matter as long as you're here'
you smiled.

hey Hope, u left
'why'd you go' i asked
'me' was my answer
'why'd you drive her away?'
'me' was my answer again
'i heard she left something behind'
'nothing. just a broken red box of flesh and blood.'

the promise - tracy chapman

If you wait for me then I'll come for you
Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me If you miss me once in awhile
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting
If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place that's warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting
I've longed for you and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting
I've longed for you and I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
Please say you'll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise If it's one that you can keep, I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say you'll hold
A place for me in your heart.

i going to talk about my life with the guitar!

i got my first guitar in sec 1! it was a yamaha classical. i bought from my friend for 20 dollars!! i have no idea where it is now. but i still remember the warcraft undead race sticker on it! i really miss it. i still the remember the times when i was still a beginner. i was really afraid of strumming the guitar because i thought the strings would break. i started to learn guitar because of NYAA bronze. i was excited about learning the guitar, but i failed at it because i failed to realise that it required practice and i lacked patience. we learnt at yamaha music school. my friends and i from NCC attended lessons for awhile until the NYAA criteria was met then we all quit together, except for afew who continued for awhile but quit in the end still. and so.. the guitar was left there. they were classical guitar lessons. too many unheard pieces, i guess it was the why reason we lost interest in it so quickly. i didn't have a real interest in music at that time too. after quitting, it was as good as saying i didn't attended guitar lessons because although they taught us how to read notes, it was completely forgotten. they didn't teach how to read tabs (notation for guitar only), they didn't teach strumming. anyways, about my classical guitar i haven't seen it in years.

as naive i was at the time, i thought that my guitar wasn't good. so... i got my mother to buy a Squire electric guitar pack for me (meaning it included an electric guitar, an amplifier, some picks, a strap and gig bag; the gig bag sucked anyway, its the worst i've/u've ever seen, trust me). i got it at sweelee at bras besah in 2004 (sec 2). so it layed in my home. of course there is the temporary craze over it. but it wore off in weeks. it was left lying there. subsequently, my friends whom knew i had an electric, borrowed it. after since, it was found mostly in my friends' house. friends because there were afew people who borrowed it. i lent it out because i wasn't using it anyways but really, i didn't want to lend to anyone at all because those friends were not really spontaneous in returning stuff. anyways, it came back recently with a broken amplifier. there was a sweelee sale the other day, i went and bought a Laney amp. it was kinda big and heavy so i dialled a cab and went home with. the sweelee warehouse is in a very ulu place. got it for 150 dollars at 50% off. original price was 300 dollars. so i guess it was kinda a good deal. i didn't manage to get my money back for the broken amp. some friends eh? i hate to ask people for money, i think money spoils relationships as the chinese saying goes 'jiang qian shang gan qing'. so oh well... nevermind. forget it.

i got my next guitar i think in secondary 3. it's a TGM acoustic, i'm unsure of what it means but my friend says it means 'the guitar man'. i got it for... err.. 65 dollars i think. it's lying in the guitar bag now with one string broken. i tuned the string the wrong way and well it broke. hahaha!.... anyway, u must have thought, at time i had already neglected my electric guitar, why did i still buy another guitar? it was through pressure from another friend, (i think i get pressured very easily, ha!) but it was good pressure i guess. he came to my house, he started by teaching me afew chords and a strumming pattern. well i practised for awhile, the same thing happened as with the electric guitar, the craze then the cold treatment. at that period of time, i just wanted to know how to play the guitar. but it is a vague statement. how do u define if a person is worthy of being said 'he knows how to play the guitar.' ? back to where i was. the cold treatment. so i stopped playing the guitar with me having no idea how to strum properly. but at that moment i already knew how to read tabs. but of course they are really easy to read, anyone could start reading them in minutes. they're basically the guitar on paper. guitar= 6 strings, tabs = 6 lines. i still remember the first chord progression my friend taught me, G - Em - C and D. that was all i knew.

with so many times of picking up the guitar and giving up. y'all must be wondering how i started
to play the guitar again right?! err.... even ur not, i'll post next time,HAHAHA, thats all for today!

wow, that was really long.

feels kinda weird

i used to love this girl. i have this friend, this classmate. they go to the same school. i think they're together. it just feels really weird.

random post

i was prepared to go to school until before i opened the door to leave the hour, i realised i haven't printed my accounting lecture notes, so i'm printing them now. seriously, the accounting notes damn alot sia, i think just i pressed somethin and the printing stopped haflway, damn. anyways, if anyone printed single side all the way for accounting, i bet his notes are damn thick, hahaha! i'm coming here just to kill time while printing the shit. damn i'm not looking forward to accounting lecture, gonna be freaking boring again. well, print finish already, time go to school