A fairytail.

when the pain is gone
longingness is all that remains
staring out by the window
into the boundless fields

beyond her eyes
a tiny silhouette upon the skyline
closer and closer
louder and louder

clad in polished armour
and a handsome horse
he asks for her hand
she blushes and looks away

the poor farmer looks on
his browned clothes of open windows
and his good ol' loyal donkey
whimpers as if understanding his tears

beyond his eyes
a blurred fairytail movie
where the girl
finally rides off with her prince
to a happy ending

disappearing slowly into the distance
aggravating his pain
then gone
no movie nor pain

when the pain is gone
longingness is all that remains
staring out by the window
into the boundless fields

2nd night of work (now)

i'm on my laptop sitting in on a stage in the middle of a small clearing at bedok interchange. cool eh, everyone who walks past will be looking at ya. sense the sarcasm? been playing warcraft for the past few hours since like 12am? this place is totally empty except for afew people who drop by to patronise the ATMs nearby. stupid job. no toilet breaks, alone. somehow i don really feel afraid here at all. oh yeah, i didn't mention yesterday some malay boys walked by and they kept calling me uncle. like 5 times in 1 minute; the time which they passed by me. i believe i don't look that old. uncles normally are 30+ right? i'm only 18!! dammit.

i hate this love.

first night of work

it's a stupid job. people told me to reject it but i didn't listen, i went with it. well. it really is stupid and i better shit before i go to work tonight. i am night watcher dennis and i guard event equipments. 50 dollars for a night. i think i'm damn stupid. i have to endure for another 7 days. it's really bloody boring. i'm bring my laptop tonight, i hope there's an internet connection there if not i really gonna die. i finally finished 'A thousand splendid suns' by khaled hosseini which i borrowed from albert. finally i can return the book to him, hahaha! lucky for me, last night kayhowe came with supper! wanton mee and carrot cake! AND................. JOLLY SHANDY!!! and mentos and bread. hahaha! he was with me for around 3 or 4 hours i think, hell. after he left i was just reading my book, cheonging like siao. never cheonged a book until so heong before. after i finished the book i listened to my mp3 and walked around. seriously, i felt like a fool.

Hold me till the morning comes - Paul Anka and Peter Cetera

I know y'all probably hate my songs because they're old, but listen to this one! REALLY nice, never bluff sia! hahaha! Peter Cetera is the guy who used to be the lead singer of Chicago.. if u don't know Chicago is a band, and they were really good.

here are the lyrics!

Two broken hearts
Neither one knows what to say
Both falling for love
But not quite all the way

Look at us now
Reaching back to yesterday
Longing to know
If they are the ones to stay

After all I'm the one who said we're through
Now I can't live without anymore
Out there lost is the dream that can't come true
Is it worth the reaching for
Don't you want me anymore, darling

Hold me till the morning comes
Until I see your smile
Take all the sadness from your eyes
Hold me till the morning sun
Let me stay we've just begun

oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Where shall we start
Tender words that we can share
Different believes
In time we will get there

Look at us now
Wanting more than words can say
Both falling for love
But distant all the way

Out there lost are the words I still love you
But they worth the reaching for
Do you love me anymore, darling

(chorus)

Hold me till the morning comes
Until I see your smile
Take all the sadness from your eyes
Hold me till the morning sun
Let me stay we've just begun
I wanna stay with you

(instrumental)

(chorus)

Would you love me in the morning
We used to be there in the morning
Would you leave without a warning
Say you love me too

falling short

fixing his eyes on the moon
intently and planning his course
a lion stalking its prey under the crimson Sun
laying low and readying its razor sharp claws

his heart was dreaming of the stars;
the glory which awaits beyond the blanket of darkness
starving and salivating
the feast of raw bloody venison

fear of gravity
fear of death
loss of the lion's pride
starvation

through the air at the speed of sound
losing speed rapidly
a meeting of eyes
bodes an omen for failure

not fast enough
not light enough
too hungry
too tired

how near the moon seemed
minutes of pure falling
eating dust
and a desperate roar

jumping off the clouds
off to where he started
never a tiny hare looked so tempting
a tiny prey to keep him alive

where are the stars now?
what happened to more than survival?

oh fuck......

i've been on sneezing frenzies today. u know how i sneeze, i always hold back my sneezes and pinch my nose before it happens. because personally i don like sneezes which are excessively loud. during the recent few frenzies i felt an internal pain in my neck after each sneeze which would paralyze me for about 4 seconds. it ain't a sharp pain, it's those kinda pain which you would start spewing vulgarities but u can't move the affected part for a moment because it bloody hurts. but there's really nothing wrong with my neck. i don't know whether it's because of the way i sneeze. dammit, please don't let me sneeze again!!!!

longingness

my body is deep and hollow
talk is appreciated and much wanted
falling short
a feeling of incomplete overwhelms
and i know i need your presence

my love is strong but falters around its own existance
is it what it is?
nevertheless unwanted and obsolete
leave me
let us be like friends

my heart revolves around yours
quickly but with uncertain velocity
it has to cease;
a mindful choice indeed
but will the heart permit?

wait.

the decision to wait
whether willingly or unwillingly,
whether a lack of direction or the lack of courage to choose,
they are indications of an uncertain man
then, how does he know when to stop?

boring holidays

till something interesting happens in my life, there won't be much to blog about, recently i've just been guitaring and playing private server maplestory thats all. hahaha!

relax

i think i can make it through.

glad

everything's back to how they were before, and i'm contented. now its just keeping it this way

what i comprehend

lost loves are always heartbreaking
but rejoice for you have been released
from an emotion disguised as love
if this world has never told you;
you deserve much better
but love has never met a man or woman
who heard nothing of bitterness
take a deep breath
and breathe out your unspeakable-s
hard it seems but impossible it is not
dry your eyes and carry your broken heart
have faith it will all be better
because it will


for you.

drinking

drinking alcohol is kinda nice. i went out with a couple of buddies from primary school today. it's such a blessing to have them with me after so long. i had a drink with ngia fung after we dispersed because we lived just a block away from each other. we sat at the playground and drink and simply talked. it's kinda nice. when you feel dizzy, you just talk about whatever you like. i'm not drunk but i'm just feel that being dizzy makes the un-courageous more courageous about sensitive matters. and thats kinda nice, talking about those matters close to the heart which normally is a taboo. i feel dizzy now but kinda great. not really great but... i'm okay. hahaha!

nike human run

just came back from helping out at the nike human run as a road marshal. the job was easy. only stood there and stoned at the running participants. i was stationed at the row of restaurants at boat quay. i didn't have to keep the public at the side because of the sheer number of participants charging down the street. at the end of day went to collect the 15 dollars as allowance.

it's time to find a job soon, probably i'll just rest for one more week. hahaha! maybe. i'll see. it's time to pay my mother for the chalet too. i'll do it later. then the rest of the uncollected money will go back in my deprived bank account.

perhaps

a shooting star dashes across the night sky
disappears into a space invisible
such a quiet ending for a glorious entry

with no trace of where you landed....

how will i find you....

perhaps......

if i wait long enough...

you'll show yourself again....

holidays

so the last paper ended today. it wasn't great. i went out of the exam hall 40 minutes early, i think i gave up too early, maybe if i stayed for awhile more i could've thought of stuff to write. maybe. hahaha!

the rest of the day wasn't great either. i think i pissed someone off. maybe i'm being oversensitive but.... i'm really sorry if i made anyone unhappy. i was suppose to go steamboat with 1h07 today but i really wasn't hungry because i had eaten a very heavy lunch after the paper. asking me to go eat steamboat would really be a waste of money because i really could not contain anymore food. i didn't have anything for dinner either, except if you consider a carton of milk dinner. i was in the mood for something to make me drowsy alittle but i stopped infront of the fridge at 7 eleven and thought for a moment, i decided to settle for milk instead since i've been drinking recently.

i went to buy guitar strings then went to join the rest at the steamboat restaurant at bugis. i couldn't get my strings because all the places i went, they were closed by the time i reached there. i walked for very long time, from the aljunied mrt station to the warehouse and back. i went to city hall to peninsula plaza but all the shops were already closed by then. i walked to esplanade for hope of finding the maestro@esplanade shop open but it was closed, so i took a bus to bugis from the bus stop infront of esplanade and join the rest. i lost my way, i forgot how to get to the steamboat restaurant. walked for quite awhile before i realised i was walking in the wrong area of bugis and i should've gone the opposite direction. it felt great; walking around alone. it really felt good at that moment. tried clearing out some complications in my head but to avail. but its okay, at least i wasted afew hours. perhaps another reason i didn't want to join them was because i wanted to be left alone for awhile and i know it would surely be lively and cheery around the 1h07 gang and i would definitely be the quietest and i don't want to be the only one being screwed up and all. after joining them, as expected, i couldn't fuse myself into their conversations. i was too tired i guess. hahaha.

books to my left, coffee to my right
you in mind and TTO nowhere in sight
where? dunno leh. hahaha!

damn.

Glory of Love

Tonight it's very clear
Cause we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
We're gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

We live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love...

is there really glory in love? ha.............

nice song nonetheless.

THE CLOCK IS TICKING!!

I STILL GOT A LOT A LOT OF SHIT TO COVER!!! CHEONG

die.

and stay down.